Short Note on Mother

Short Note on Mother
�

When I came drenched in the rain,

My brother told why don't you take an umbrella with you.
My sister said why did not you wait till it stopped.
My Dad angrily said only after getting cold, you will
realize.

But my MOTHER,
as she was drying my hair with her Saree,


was shouting


not at me


..........

....................

..........................

but at the RAIN.

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What can one say!!

Cancel your credit card before you die.........(hilarious!)

Now some people are really stupid!!!! Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00.. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, or maybe both!'

Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'

Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'


Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance..'

Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member: 'Sure..' (Fax number was given )


After they get the fax :

Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her.. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'

(What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank: 'That might help....'

Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69..'

Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on yo ur planet???'


(Priceless!!)
You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!

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fOrgotten love triagle :: clintOn - mOnica

The Clinton-Lewinsky Saga

In June 1995 Monica Lewinsky, 21, arrived at the White House as an unpaid intern.. During November she began a sexual relationship with Bill Clinton, according to audiotapes secretly recorded. By December she moved into a paid position ferrying mail to the Oval Office.

This picture from independent counsel Kenneth Starr's report to the US Congress shows a letter from Monica Lewinsky to US President Bill Clinton asking to see him after a separation of over five weeks.

This TV grab dated 08 May 1996 Lewinski (R) talking with Clinton at the Saxophone Club at Hyatt Hotel in Washington, DC, at a Democratic National Committee Fundraiser. President Bill Clinton forcefully denied having sex with the young White House internMonica Lewinsky, as more video surfaced showing him embracing her.

This photo released 27 January by The Washington Post shows an ad in the Post's 1997 Valentine's Day supplement that was reportedly placed by Monica Lewinsky and meant for Clinton. The Post said according to a source familiar with the tapes of the conversations between Lewinsky and friend Linda R. Tripp, Lewinsky told Tripp she placed the ad.

Monica Lewinsky leaves court after testifying before a grand jury investigating US President Clinton.

This video footage shows Bill Clinton (back to camera) greeting a woman who appears to be Monica Lewinsky (center-left) . The flurry of salacious reports had the White House scrambling to cope with what had become the worst crisis of Clinton's presidency.

Monica Lewinsky arrives at the US District Court House in Washington, DC 20 August to testify before a grand jury investigating US President Bill Clinton.. In a television address, President Clinton acknowledged having a relationship with Lewinsky.

Lewinsky leaves the Howard County Courthouse in Ellicott City, MD 16 December, 1999 after testifying in the Linda Tripp wire tapping trial.

Bill Clinton pauses a moment while being asked about Monica Lewinsky at a joint press conference with Italian Prime Minister Massimo D'Alema in the White House in Washington, DC. Clinton said he hoped Monica Lewinsky would have "a good life" and get any help she might need to recover from the traumatic White House sex scandal.

This video grab shows Lewinsky taking the oath at the beginning of her videotaped evidence, during the impeachment trial of former president Clinton in Washington, DC.

This picture shows US President Bill Clinton testifying in the Map Room at the White House in Washington DC, on videotape before independent counsel Kenneth Starr's grand jury investigating the White House sex-and-lies case. There are more than four hours of videotape and 2,800 pages of testimony containing details of Clinton's affair with Lewinsky.

This undated file photo released 21 January 1998 by the Department of Defense shows Monica Lewinsky

Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky is photographed through a window of a car outside of her attorneys' office in Washington, DC.

Clinton acknowledges applause from the audience of senators and representatives at the start of his State of the Union address on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. Clinton spoke in front of many of the same Representatives who impeached him, claiming that he committed perjury and obstruction of justice in the Monica Lewinsky scandal. Behind Clinton are former vice president Al Gore (L) and former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert (R).

Monica Lewinsky during her videotaped testimony to the impeachment trial managers in Washington, DC

US Capitol HIll personnel Erik LeBlanc (R) checks a list as NBC News representative Barbara Rollins (L) picks up a set of taped conversations between Linda Tripp and Monica Lewinsky at the US Capitol in Washington DC. The 22 hours of tapes on 37 cassettes contain no new information, but give the public its first opportunity to hear the actual details of Lewinsky's relationship with US President Bill Clinton.

Lewinsky looks up as she signs her book, 'Monica's story', during a signing 23 April, 1999 at a book store in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

US Capitol Police escort Diana Schacht (3rd R), counsel for the US House majority and Samra Ryder (2nd-R), counsel for the US House minority, deliver the videotape of Clinton's testimony to the grand jury about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky to the television control room at the US Capitol in Washington, DC.

A beaming Monica Lewinsky signs copies of her book "Monica's Story" in London's Oxford Street on Tuesday 09 March 1999.

Protestors line the street outside the Mechanics Hall where US President Bill Clinton spoke to the Worcester community, MA. Clinton, in his first public appearance since giving his televised apology on an "improper relationship" with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky, left his vacation island hide-away to speak about school safety

Protestors line the street outside the Mechanics Hall where US President Bill Clinton spoke to the Worcester community, MA. Clinton, in his first public appearance since giving his televised apology on an "improper relationship" with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky, left his vacation island hide-away to speak about school safety

During the impeachment hearing, Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr testified about an alleged pattern of obstruction of justice by Bill Clinton in the investigation into his relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

Jennifer Moorhouse, a Monica Lewinsky look-alike, poses for photographers at Planet Hollywood in Beverly Hills, California, in front of a giant screen showing US President Bill Clinton in the introduction to Barbara Walter's interview with the former White House

This picture shows Monica Lewinsky's dress that the FBI performed DNA tests on.. The tests concluded the genetic markers of a semen stain on the dress matched those of Bill Clinton.

This photo of Clinton and Lewinsky (L) at the White House was part of some 4,800 documents amassed by independent counsel Kenneth Starr and released by the House Judiciary Committee

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"Pictures" from a Typewriter

This is phenomenal beyond words. Paul Smith is truly a great genius.

"Pictures" from a Typewriter

He lived at Rose Haven Nursing Home ( Roseburg , OR ) for years. Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy. Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech and mobility but also taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.

"When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one. Since he couldn't press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters ..... @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _ . Across seven decades, Paul created hundreds of pictures. He often gave the originals away. Sometimes, but not always, he kept or received a copy for his own records. As his mastery of the typewriter grew, he developed techniques to create shadings, colors, and textures that made his work resemble pencil or charcoal drawings."

This great man passed away on June 25, 2007, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

(These pictures are unbelievable. Strange we should just now be hearing about him. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.)

Can you believe that this art was created using a typewriter?

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Interview

Interview

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?
C: I have.

E: Is he working Locally?
C: No. He is working Overseas.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u !
C: Why?

E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just because of u.

*********

Story II

E: Any girl friends?
C: No.

E: So far chased any before?
C: Have, but not successful.

E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a girlfriend?
C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This personal issue.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.
C: Why?

E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

*********

Story III

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?
C: Not quite.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you.
C: Why? Will this affect your company's reputation?

E: No, it does not affect the company's reputation but because My company is dealing with arts, our company requested an artist.

*********

Story IV

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?
C: yes

E: Is she your first lover?
C: Yes.

E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.

*********

Story V

E: Any girlfriends?
C: Yes.

E: Is she your first lover?
C: No. Have a few already.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are a "grasshopper"! (Job hoper lah!)

*********

Story VI

E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.

E: Is he rich?
C: No.

E: Then sorry, my company cannot employ you because our Company is dealing with money and you will seduce.

*********

Story VII

E: Any boyfriends?
C: Yes.

E: Is he rich ?
C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.

E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even want to employ you, neither do we!
C: But,...... There is no position in his company.

E: Then,..... What is your qualification?
C: Secretary!

E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will affect your managers' working spirits.
C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.

E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!

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true test

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late

�Night and didn't Study

For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.





In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty

and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up

to the Dean and said that

they had gone out to a wedding last night and

on their return the tyre of

their car burst and they had to push the car all

the way back and that they

were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have

the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and

said they will be ready by that time.





On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this

was a Special Condition Test, All four were

required to sit in separate

classrooms for the test.





They all agreed as they had prepared well in the

last 3 days.











The Test consisted ONLY of 2 questions with the

total of 100 Marks.











Q.1.����� Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS )











Q.2.����� Which tyre burst?...... ......... ( 98 MARKS )





a) Front Left





b) Front Right




c) Back Left





d) Back Right.....!! !

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Innovative Mumbai Rickshaw Driver from Bandra

Innovative Mumbai Rickshaw Driver from Bandra

he has got a first aid box on the left and a newspaper box on right (which had all hindi-english-marathi-gujrati and economic times)

he has got a tv on the top with cable (I was watching colors channel) and below tat is the tissue box. on the left is the mandir types and dont miss the "Only gandhigiri" written there , below tat is the calender and a notepad and pen along with a blue fan (which is blowing towards the customer who sits)

�25% discount for handicap!! who on this earth can expect somethin like this from an rickshawala yaar!!

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IF IT PEOPLE MAKE A BOLLYWOOD FILMS WHAT WILL BE NAME?

IF IT PEOPLE MAKE A BOLLYWOOD FILMS WHAT WILL BE NAME?

1. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

3. Aao Chat Kare

4. Programmer No.1

5. Mera Naam Developer

6. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

7. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein

8. Do Processor Baarah Terminal

9. Tera Code Chal Gaya

10. Har Din Jo Mail Karega

11. Network Ke Us Paar

12. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

13. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai

14. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE .!

15. Client Ek Numbari Programmer Dus Numbari

16. Login Karo Sajana

17. Naukar PC Ka

18. 1942 -- A

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make your pc talk

make your pc talk
Open a text file in notepad and write:
Dim msg, sapimsg=InputBox("Enter your text","Talk it")Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice")sapi.Speak msg
Save the file with a (*.vbs) extension, it will create a VBScript File.Now�open the saved file, input the text and press ok."
u will hear what u typed� J
this works in xp,may be in vista also.

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u have an answer

• just six words...six short and simple words explain:
• 
  how one person with identical skills can earn hundreds of thousands and even millions more than another
• 
  how some people shoot to the top of the company while others are fired
• 
  why some people live happy productive lives while people of identical upbringings and education stumble from failure to failure
• 
  why some seem to achieve goals almost effortlessly while most can't seem to get on track
  why some marriages flourish while others end early

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CANCER CELLS

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, �JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY . � �

Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins :

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.


WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intes tina l tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk, cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. �About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to no urish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

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Foreign Origin of Mrs. Sonia Gandhi

Elections National Issues :

Foreign Origin of Mrs. Sonia Gandhi

Call it an issue

or

a non issue

but

the topic is such that

is gathering strong views in favour

and

against since the day she entered politics.

BJP raised the issue very critically.

NDA holds a common view towards this.

Rather this was one of the issues that brought them together.

The issue rose

when Mrs. Sonia Gandhi entered politics in 1999

and was being projected as the hier of the

Nehru- Gandhi Family.

The issue caught fire

when few of the Congress leaders opposed

to her being selected as the Party President

and ultimately a contender for Prime Ministership.

Even the common man started asking the big question,

"Can't we find an Indian PM?"

Mrs. Gandhi

may have a solution to the debate

in the form of Rahul Gandhi,

but

even that aspect has been countered by the other parties.

His relationship with a of Colambian origin

and its future is being questioned.

Moreover though he might be a keen contender

now

he hardly seemed to be taking interest in politics earlier.

Everyone seems to be questioning her origin

as the PM candidate.

Did it occur to anyone

if she is even eligible to contest elections.

As Shri Chandra Shekhar puts,

" the Constitution is silent on the issue".

Has anyone thought beyond this to the real issue

of whether she will be able to hold the reins

of the largest democracy.

Will the people of India accept her.

Let us not revolve around on the

peripheral and concentrate on the real ones.

Congress in current situation needs the name of

Nehru -Gandhi Dynasty.

It is natural for BJP to object to her candidature.

NDA has the issue on its main agenda list.

The politicians will give

a different view every time the elections are held.

Those who opposed her during last elections

are supporting her this time.

The views will be

entirely different next time.

The electorate is more mature,

aware and alert.

Let us all have faith

in our own judgement of

the issue and vote

for the candidate

we feel can do best for the Nation.

Hinduism is more a way of life than a method of worship.

Dharmo Rakshati Rakshithaha

If you protect Dharma, Dharma will in turn protect you.

Hindus, If people slap you once, slap them twice!

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